Monday, 17 September 2012

It's Not So Bad!

I'm truly overwhelmed at the support, comments, posts, tweets and emails I've received in response to me having to get my wisdom tooth pulled out this month. I sensed some hesitation on your part, being that I'm in the U.K. Yes, yes, I know the jokes about the bad teeth in England. I can see why you would all be concerned. So, I'm pleased to report that it went VERY well. 

It was relatively uneventful. I found a dentist office that happens to be within 5 minutes walking distance from my house. The Paget Manor Dentist Office is just right up the street and it was clean, affordable & neat, and the staff was sweet and efficient. Everything you could ask for in a newly remodeled dentist office (that was probably once a house at some point, like every other business here in England). Dr. Richard Milner, DDS was smiley and chatty. If I had to guess, I'd say in his mid 30's, old enough to not look like he just walked out of dentist school, and young enough to be hi-tech, with computerized x ray scanners and he was cool enough to leave a few buttons undone on his dress shirt to not look like a tight ass. His assistant was a lovely young lady, and accommodating throughout my entire visit (can't say the same about her buttons, though), even handing me a tissue every time I had to rinse & spit. Dr. Milner was thorough, if not redundant, about what he would be doing in, his explanation. As I eased back into that better-than-a-barcolounger big, comfy chair, I noticed there was some Adele "21" on in the background. All that was missing was a cranberry & vodka and a fireplace, really. 


He advised me that I'd feel a little sting as he numbed my gumline with a Novocain shot, which I did- feel a little sting. No big deal. We chatted a bit while that was starting to work, mostly about how much he enjoys Florida and how much I enjoy England, or at least until I drooled, which probably indicated we were ready to start. He told me I'd feel a bit of pressure and if at any time something was uncomfortable, to just raise my hand. 
Which, I think is a super nice way to say, "Don't scream, jump or kick me in the nuts because I could easily cut your tongue in half."  That's just a guess on my part, though. 
He said to try and ignore the sound because it's worse than what's actually happening. I focused on Adele. "Never mind, I'll find someone like--" Within 6 seconds, my tooth was out. No pain, no scrunching of my nose or hand movement of any sort. He gave me some precise aftercare instructions and off I went. Within hours of the numbness wearing off, I was ready with some high powered pain pills a friend had given me, "just in case"- but I didn't need them, nor did I even need ibuprofen. No pain, no cotton wad in my mouth, no blood, no stitches, just a faint twinge every once in a while. Nothing notable. I stuck with the mushy food plan for a day or two- scrambled eggs, oatmeal, yoghurt, pudding, and mashed potatoes. By Day 2 and 1/2, I was chewing on my other side, eating regular crap like crisps, chips, fish, pasta, and even pizza. By Day 3, I was perfectly fine.

So, the cool part about this whole experience is that it's renewed my faith in England's dentistry, and really ...dentistry as a whole. But England, in particular. I mean, I didn't really doubt it. Yes, the age old jokes about bad teeth weighed a bit on my mind, but in all honesty, since I've been coming here, even for visits, before I moved here, I don't think I've ever really seen anyone with a nightmare mouth, gaping holes, crooked or broken teeth, other than perhaps an old codger in a pub who would more than likely spend his last five pound note on a Guinness rather than at a dentist visit anyhow. 

I've been to a lot of different parts of England, from Shrewsbury, to Birmingham, to Maidenhead, Windsor, Hammersmith, London, Banstead, Leicester, Soho, Wimbledon, even Wales and I've been to all kinds of venues from pubs, bars, theaters, shopping centers, Starbucks, hotels, piers, beaches, festivals, Prides, book stores, spa's, pet stores, and farms so I've seen a LOT of different, diverse people in all sorts of settings and I've yet to cringe at one smile. It doesn't surprise me, now that I think about it. I mean, seriously, look at the teeth on those "Downton Abbey" people! Perfect, right? 


I'm sure you saw your share of English people just watching the Olympics on TV this summer, and, truthfully now, how many times did you poke your friend and say, "OMG, did you SEE THOSE AWFUL TEETH??" Not once, I'm guessing. Look, I get that Prince Charles may not have the most dashing presence, but let's face it- that has a lot to do with his big friggin' ears, beady eyes and narrow nose. Even the Queen, on the rare occasion that she does smile, doesn't have some mangy messed up "teef" or anything. Prince William has a gorgeous smile, always has, like his mother Princess Diana. Prince Harry, Kate Middleton- great smiles, although people have been looking at more than their smiles lately- STILL- there's a lot of GOOD teeth over here and we seem to forget that. Simon Cowell doesn't show 'em  often, but he's got a decent set of whiteys, and Kate Winslet, Daniel Radcliff, Helen Mirren, Jessie J, Graham Norton, Gary Barlow, John Cleese, even Colin freakin' Firth and he's as English as it gets! I can't comment on Victoria Beckham since no one has seen her teeth in god knows how long, because she's constantly sucking in her cheeks all the time. And has a pretty good-- Oh wait, he's American. Come on, though! Have you ever looked at Jude Law and thought, "Those are some screwed up teeth, man!"..? No. And FYI: More good teeth people: Cheryl Cole, Emma Watson, and shut-the-front-door shocker: Russell Brand- he doesn't have bad  chompers at all for the twisted bastard that he is. In all seriousness, I haven't met a person yet that has a set of fucked up buckers like Austin Powers or Margaret Thatcher. (Ok, maybe Alan Carr could use some veneers). Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're out there, looking like the creepy old villian in a Scooby Doo episode.  All 148 of them that are still living, because that's about how old and dated this "England's bad teeth" rap is.


I'm not giving a "GET OVER IT!" speech, by any means because I'm not completely convinced that Robert Pattinson doesn't have real, creepy, yellow vampire teeth, but I'm cutting the guy some slack since his girlfriend got caught getting her muff munched in a Mini Cooper by a married scumbag director twice her age. 

Think about this, USA:  Metal-mouthed disgusting rapper Lil' Wayne is on magazine covers. Oh and P.S. - need I remind you about Kirsten Dunst, Steve Buscemi, Mike Tyson, Jewel and Michael Strahan?! 

Yeah, I definitely think it's high time we give England a break. I'm more inclined to laugh at the funny way they talk over here than be stopped in my tracks by anyone's banged up teeth. Listen, all I'm saying is we can't let Ricky Gervais' god awful fangs represent an entire nation anymore, people. 


Wednesday, 5 September 2012

How Cool Am I?

Working as an Associate Editor for SHE Magazine- The Leading Source for Women in South Florida has allowed me some fabulous opportunities, but last month was a true career highlight- and now you can read it for yourselves in the September/October edition available locally and online at:


I interviewed iconic lesbian rocker, Melissa Etheridge on her new release "4th Street Feeling" available on Island Records, in stores Sept 4th, and on iTunes.

As if that weren't enough, I got to interview Jennifer Beals on her newest role, as an Army Major Jo Stone, who's conflicted with what she's told by a young solider in her unit in the YouTube webseries WIGS/Lauren


Lastly, nothing makes me more proud than a talented, out lesbian comedian, and I got to interview two of my favorites: Sandra Valls and Erin Foley, who are appearing in Key West, FL along with Chantal Carrere in Andrea Meyerson's "Curiously Strong Comedy" the San Carlos Institute  on Saturday, Sept 8th. Tickets available at

See? Lucky, lucky me!

(P.S. I still have to get a wisdon tooth extracted tomorrow, so don't think it's all celesbians and roses over here!)

Monday, 3 September 2012

Some days...

         "Some days you are the cat's ass and some days you're the one staring into it"

I understand this. I really do.  The older I get, the more fully aware I am that life is a series of ups & downs, fast & slow, peaks & valleys, mountains & mole hills, ebb & flows, and all that cliche shit. Take for instance this summer. I attended my first Pride event in Birmingham in June, as it pissed down rain in continuous English fashion. Cold, wet but not stopping any true gaymo's fun.

 In July, I was in Barcelona, Spain for a week. It was beautiful every single day- sunny skies, the Mediterranean Sea, incredible food, plenty of gorgeous sites, from the buildings, streets, shops to the fabulous people.


After returning back with just enough time to do laundry, visit the cats, and check in with family, I was off to L-Fest! This second annual lesbian music/camping/comedy & arts festival takes place in July up north in Shrewsbury, England at the massive & amazing Shropshire West Mid Showground. With it's incredible line up of talented musicians, inspiring workshops, author readings, film selection, vendors, hilarious comedy, evening parties, sports, contests & events, it's non-stop lesbian fun from sun up well into the wee hours. Rain or shine, the lezzies don't stop.


Once back from the lesbians-in-the-mud experience, it was time to celebrate the Olympics for the next two weeks. The BBC television coverage was beyond what anyone could hope for, airing live events with a detailed schedule of times, places, channels, and constant updates. Addicted doesn't come to close to my state of mind. As if watching every event from table tennis, archery, kayak to mountain cycling, wasn't enough- we had lucked out with tickets to attend the Finals in Women's Beach Volleyball at Horse Guards Parade stadium -3rd row from the sand- where Team USA would play Team USA. What more could an American Lesbian in London hope for? Seriously! Jennifer Kessey, April Ross, Kerri Walsh Jennings and Misty May Treanor all on one night, getting silver & gold medals, seeing the US flag billowing in perfect night air- it was quite a moment!


So...just as summer comes to a close, I'm reminded of all the ups...and I'm grateful.


And now for the down: Monumental toothache! Wisdom tooth extraction scheduled for Sept 6th. Ugh.